The Last Time You'll Buy Shoes
I reached a point in my life where I could buy enough of something and reasonably expect it to last until I die. Not a 4-pack of AA batteries or a single banana (well, I hope not) but something like shoes, or a colander. Mundane stuff.
How many pairs of shoes do you think a man in his 30s could ever need from today until he's done? 20? 30? 50?
Let's say that:
- I go through 1 pair of gym shoes every 2 years.
- On average, males live ~77.5 years.
Barring tragedies, and considering an average life expectancy (things I can't control), that's about 22 pairs of shoes.
I could walk out of a store, today, with 22 boxes of sneakers—retail workers assuming I manage 2 sports teams—and sing: “Boom. Last time I buy shoes. Fuck it, fuck shoes. I'm done with buying shoes. Never wanna think about shoes again”.
On a certain level, this thought feels oddly nice because it's liberating (“Fuck it: done with laundry quarters. I went to the bank and got $2,000 in quarters.“).
I'm not sure I ever want to get to the phase where I can play with this mental math using napkins, AA batteries... or a single banana.
But that's it: you will get to a point in your life where objects will last longer than you do.
So, the solution is: always buy really good batteries.
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🅂 Me in 15”
I've been a satirical author, marketing manager, radio host, Comedy Central correspondent, and improviser. Process optimizer, critical observer, easily obsessed—and emotional stoic—I love meaningful conversations and silences. Rome (Italy) native, I now live in Chicago → more about me and what I'm doing now.